So how can you develop resilience to help you cope with fertility issues?
Resilience is our bounce factor: how flexible can we be in our outlook and approach to life; how easily do we adapt to new circumstances and situations: how well do we thrive on change; how positive is our outlook; how considerate are we of others: how good are we at self-care; how well do we turn our experiences into opportunities to learn; how long does it take us to lose our sense of humour when faced with adversity?
When we want things quickly we put tremendous pressure on ourselves. Impatience drives us to some very negative and harmful mindsets. When we want something NOW, it's very easy to allow that impatience to spill over into obsession, negativity and many other unwanted emotional states.
Impatience causes us to sew a seed and then a week later, when we see no change in the soil, we start digging to see how well the seed is developing. And of course, the very act of digging ruins the development of the seed we have just sewn! The fact that nothing is seen to be happening doesn't mean that we're not moving forward! One of the benefits of Reproductive Reflexology is that it you have a plan of action - even if the only action you're taking is turning up for appointments - and that helps you feel that you are moving forward with the plan.
The very narrow focus that obsession brings can blight our lives. Suddenly our obsession becomes the most important thing in our life, knocking any balance and perspective from our life and thinking. The other important aspects of our life - relationships, hobbies, self-development, fun, relaxation, etc, etc, etc - become subsumed in the obsession. Our thinking is overtaken by the obsession until we become our obsession. It's not healthy and it creates a lack of flexible thinking that undermines our resilience.
I'm not a believer in positivity at all costs, I think it's important to be realistic and allow ourselves to process negative feelings. But that doesn't mean - once we have processed and put aside those negative feelings - that we can't try to find something positive in a setback and continue to have hope for the future. Once of the features of impatience is that it provides a constant reminder of what we don't have and that makes it much more difficult to stay positive.
MANAGE YOUR EXPECTATIONS
Our expectations create a conscious (or sometimes unconscious) anticipation that something will be the case. And that can often be a source of internal conflict, for example, "I want to get pregnant, NOW". Imagine how the impatience of that NOW expectation can increase your stress and the consequent impact on your fertility, your positivity and your general mental and emotional health. By becoming conscious of your internal dialogue and noticing what expectations you have, you may be able to take some pressure off yourself.
Curiosity leads to knowledge, and knowledge is power. It allows you to be more in control of your fertility journey and become a partner rather than a patient when dealing with medical providers. Feeling that you have some control can be very empowering, especially when ambiguity and uncertainty are the order of the day. Temperature charting can help to remove or clarify some ambiguity about your cycle and if you feel confident you are that you know your cycle, you will feel much more of a partner in any medical interventions.
COME TO TERMS WITH AMBIGUITY/UNCERTAINTY
Even when temperature charting and Reproductive Reflexology can't help clarify some of the uncertainty or ambiguity, at least you can feel you have some support. It's very tempting to want to FIX the problem, to take action, to move to a solution when perhaps the problem (if there is one) is not sufficiently well defined. Any sometimes we just need someone to tell us to wait a bit, that there's no real urgency or perhaps that our expectations about timing are unrealistic.
And do you know the wonderful thing about building resilience through your fertility journey? You get to keep that increased resilience throughout your life. And you can apply it to all areas of your life.
Click here, if you'd like to know more about Reproductive Reflexology.