If you'd like to conceive, I'd ask you to look at all the highs and lows of your fertility journey. I know you'd do anything to get pregnant, so I'd like you to ask yourself ... are you trying too hard?

Trying might not be a useful thing to do, in fact it may actually hinder all your best efforts, because trying is about : endeavour, difficulty, becoming annoyed – or so the dictionary says.  Trying is all about chasing after your dream rather than waiting to receive it. Trying is all about forcing your heart's desire into being rather than allowing it to materialise in it's own good time.  Trying is about control rather than being in a state of flow.

Are you chasing your dream of having a baby rather than being ready to receive with open arms?  May I suggest that this might not be the best strategy.  And here’s why ...

Imaging you were to go fishing.  If you were to go fishing, you’d pack your kit – everything you need to land that prizewinning fish. You’d pick the perfect spot where you know the fish are likely to be. You’d set your bait and cast your line and then you’d sit back and relax and wait for the fish to bite. And while you’re waiting for the fish to bite you’d likely just enjoy being out in the fresh air, in the peace and quiet, giving yourself time to settle and release, and letting your worries and cares wash away.

What you wouldn’t do is: jump into the car with no equipment. Then stop at any old spot without checking first to find out how the fishing was. And race into the water fully clothed, trying to catch the fish with your bare hands! That would just be ridiculous, wouldn't it?

The very act of “trying”, creates a level of stress that is more likely to take you away from what you want instead of closer to it. You effectively create obstacles that wouldn’t otherwise exist as a consequence of your desire to increase your chances of getting pregnant.  You begin to get in your own way!  Can I just say that again, "You begin to get in your own way"!

This is not always an easy concept to process when your sole goal in life is to get pregnant, so please give it some thought.

May I suggest that you might choose to let go, stop "trying", chill and just wait for the fish to bite.  And if you need some help with your fertility journey, check out how Fertility Reflexology could help.

If you want more tips like this, you’ll find them in the Free Baby Making Mindset Club, just go to https://www.facebook.com/groups/1422257428013810/

The International Stress Management Association launched their 2008 National Stress Awareness Day with their top ten stress busters:

1. SMILE – it’s quick, easy and free!  When you smile your body releases feel-good hormones.
   
2. EXERCISE – you get a treble whammy through exercise: better health, improved blood flow to the brain, helping you think more clearly and reduced stress levels.
   
3. GET ENOUGH REST & SLEEP – hobbies and holidays counterbalance work and everyday stress and sleep helps restore energy, concentration and general health.
   
4. POSITIVE THINKING – remember external events don’t determine how you feel, rather it’s your response to external events that determines how you feel.  Try adopting a positive response and thinking positive thoughts.  It may take a bit of practice, but it’s worth it.
   
5. REACH OUT TO OTHERS – Make sure you have a support network of friends, family and co-workers you can call on to help take the strain.  And remember to be a good support to them too.
   
6. ACHIEVE A GOOD WORK-LIFE BALANCE – All work and no play makes Jack and Jill a dull boy and girl.  How you spend your time away from work can improve your performance and effect in work.
   
7. RELAXATION – Make relaxation a regular part of your daily routine because relaxation is an easy and effective anti-stress weapon.  Check out the many books, CDs & DVD that can help.
   
8. EAT A HEALTHY DIET – Cutting down on coffee, sugar, alcohol and nicotine will help you avoid mood swings and a balanced diet will have your body functioning at its optimum level and more able to deal with stressful situations as they arise.
   
9. HUGGING – Hugging feels good and has been proven to reduce the stress hormone, cortisone, so make sure you give and get your fair share of hugs.
   
10. SEEK PROFESSIONAL HELP IF YOU NEED IT – If you’re coping with more than one big event in your life – moving house, divorce, the death of someone close, big issues at work, ill-health – you may be so busy coping with the situations that you don’t notice their effect on you.  Don’t be shy about seeking professional help – your GP, a counsellor, a stress management professional, etc may help you cope better maintain your physical and mental health.

Pick one items from the list and put it into practice and see how well it works for you.

Or you could come for a relaxing Reflexology or Indian Head Massage and let someone else take the strain for a change. Just call Doris on 07724 197627 to book your appointment.  And remember there's a special JULY OFFER: £10 off your first treatment - but only if you book in July (appointments can be scheduled for August).

Hypnotherapy, affirmations, the law of attraction, NLP, positive thinking, the Silva Method - there's a long list of modalities and techniques that claim to be able to help you think positively and be able to manifest whatever you want, just by using the power of your brain.  So you want to be wealthy, healthy or happy - just think yourself so.  It may not be quite as simple as that, but it's most people would recognise that a strong focus and a positive attitude will be more likely to get you towards your goal more quickly.  And it's not just goals that can be influenced.

It's claimed that mental images produce changes in the body on a physical, chemical and immunological level that can affect health.  What you see in your mind’s eye can change specific immune system responses that may affect such things as white blood cell count.  It may sound a bit far fetched, but there is beginning to be some research to suggest that this might be so.  Visualisation is taught to people undergoing cancer treatments or suffering from anxiety or depression.

Guided imagery – more often known as visualisation – is an important tool in influencing a variety of health problems.  It provides benefits and poses virtually no risk.  The principle is that vivid imagery sends messages from the cerebral cortex to the lower brain.  From there the message is relayed to the endocrine and the autonomic nervous systems, which affect a wide range of bodily functions, including heart and respiration rates and blood pressure.

And visualisation can also be used to improve personal performance: it’s a way of programming your brain (and body) to help achieve the required outcome.  Athletes place as much importance on mental preparation before an event as they do on physical preparation.  It's a really simple process and since you can't stop thinking, you may as well direct your thoughts to a more specific outcome.

Why not give it a try yourself.....

1. Think of a situation for which you’d like a specific outcome – being calm at the dentist, passing an exam, making an impactful presentation, being more confident, etc. 
2. Now sit down and relax.  Observe your breathing for a few moments – you don’t need to do anything, just observe your breath coming in and going out again.
3. Imaging the situation as you’d like it to be – in as much detail as possible – and as if it had already happened.  How would you feel, what would you see, are there any sounds or smells that you’d be aware of?  Take as long as you need to prefect your ideal scenario.
4. Then really connect to it emotionally - feel the calm, excitement, triumph or whatever the predominant emotion would be once you were successful.  And feel it now, as if the event  had actually happened
5. Repeat as often as you can, and await a positive outcome.

A word of warning – imagining passing an exam without doing the revision may not work – you still need to undertake whatever preparation is appropriate in addition to the visualisation process.

And talking about focus, I'd just like to remind you that I have a special JULY OFFER: £10 off your first treatment of Reflexology or Indian Head Massage, so please help me spread the word.  This offer is only available for treatments booked in July, so don't delay.  To book just call Doris on 07724 197627.