Can You Be Too Good At Coping With Stress?

Are you a master of juggling, coping with a dozen things at a time?  Are you a glutton for work - ambitious, dedicated and demanding the absolute best of yourself?  Can you cope not just with your own stressors, but can you also help others cope with theirs?

Sounds as though you are the "go to" person in your family, with work colleagues and friends - the problem solver, full of with wisdom and compassion, that everyone runs to in their time of need.  Good for you!

But, a word of warning.  Those very strengths can make you vulnerable and cause you to be even more seriously affected by stress than others around you.

Try the following short quiz to see how vulnerable your fabulous ability to cope may be making you.

Too Good At Coping Quiz

1.    When did you last ask for help?    
        a.    Yesterday
        b.    Last week
        c     Last month

2.    When did you last spend at least 15 minutes meditating or sitting still with an
       empty mind?
         a.    Yesterday
         b.    Last week
         c     Last month

3.    How are your energy levels most of the time?
        a.    Bursting with energy throughout the day
        b.    Energy dips and can drop asleep watching TV
        c.    Running on empty - adrenalin energy keeps me going

4.    How easy is it for you to stay on an even keel (relaxed, balanced, good humoured)?
        a.    No problem at all
        b.    I often have to count to ten before I respond to people/events
        c.    I'm having to bite my tongue more often than not

5.    I eat well and get regular exercise (3+ times a week)
        a.    Always
        b.    Sometimes
        c.    Never

6.    If two major events (redundancy, illness of self or loved one, fire/flood, new project at
       work, falling out with close friend/family member, were to affect your life, would you
       have the time, energy and mental/emotional resource to cope with it as well as
       everything else you currently cope with.
        a.    No problem at all
        b.    It would be a stretch, something else would have to give
        c.    Just thinking about it makes me want to curl up and give in

Mostly A's    - Congratulations, you're coping well, not just with those around you, but
                       also with your own, physical, mental and emotional well-being.

Mostly B's    -  You may be sailing too close to the wind.  Look at your life and see how 
                       you can incorporate some more time for yourself.  Recognise that spare
                       capacity is essential in being able to cope really well.

Mostly C's    - Give yourself a break and let someone else do the coping for a change.  If 
                       you continue you could make yourself ill.  Stop now and reassess your
                       situation.

Priding yourself on your ability to cope can be a false pride and it can prevent you from making good and timely choices - like asking for help, saying no, taking time out, etc.  You become less effective at managing the pressures in your life and more likely eventually to suffer from stress.

So, give yourself a break and let someone else take the strain, just for a little while.

 

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